This post will be raw and reality and I know other mums will relate but if your a mum to be don't be scared this is only my experience and no 2 peoples are the same but I'm hoping all the things I wish I had done/know I hope you can take into consideration and your recovery/ postpartum experience will hopefully be a lot better! This post is based on a vaginal birth as that's what I had, C-section rates are currently at 15.6 % unplanned and 11.5% planned in the UK and if your a mummy to be have a little read up of C-section recovery just to cover all your bases.
I thought this would be quite an interesting post and its honestly not something I hear talked about often at all and honestly when I was pregnant with Arlo I hardly thought about! But its probably because at midwife appointments even up till the end it was never discussed ( might of been just my midwife!) But I had absolutely no idea what to expect or what it was going to be like after giving birth. I think the only thing I knew was that I was going to bleed a lot and to get maternity pads.. Well let me tell me you there's more to it than that and if you happen to be unlucky like me it can be a lot more painful than what you could possibly imagine!
I do think its natural to just think about what's happening to you in the now and when I was pregnant I got as far as going into labour and my mind would just stop! I just knew I would obviously have a baby and bring a baby home but I think the postpartum side of things just wasn't something I thought about and it just wasn't top of my priority's.
When I had Arlo I tore EVERYTHING and when I mean everything if there was a part you could tear I tore it! I remember looking at my discharge sheet in shock because half the places I had torn I didn't even know were possible! ( It wasn't pretty) Due to complications although I had Arlo at 7am I didn't get my stitches till 11am! which is madness really when you think about it, I actually put that down a lot to why my stitches got infected. They do tell you at the hospital that you will bleed for a few days and it varies from woman to woman and I was really lucky and I didn't bleed an awful lot past maybe the first 2 days! and it stopped very very quickly compared to I know some people can be very unlucky and it can go on a while.
My stitches getting infected effected my recover ALOT and I have to say it was horrible the pain was worse than contractions when I had to go to the toilet... The stinging was just excruciating I remember physically shaking on the toilet in pain.. when it is so painful as well your body try's to block the thing that's causing you pain and although it was probably physiological as well I was almost stopping my self from going to the toilet because I didn't want to go through the pain! and even when I built up the courage lol it was like my body just was like nope not doing it... There are a lot of things I've read since having Arlo that probably would have helped me a lot that I wish I had known at the time! Its honestly such a whirlwind time that you honestly don't have time to stop and think!
After giving birth when you could do the toilet weather you are unlucky and get an infection or not if you have stitches its going to sting and a common trick other women and the health visitor will tell you to do is use a jug and pour warm water down as you wee to dilute it, I do think It helps but for me it didn't make a massive difference but I do think drinking as much as you can and diluting your wee is really helpful. I was also told if that doesn't work that as gross as it sounds filling the bath up and going in the bath can help relieve the pain and stinging, and that for me did really work haha the first week and a half after I had Arlo I was weeing in the bath haha child birth really is the most un dignified thing EVER! Another thing I did in the first few days that gave me some temporary relief is a cold flannel.. yep I put a cold flannel in my underwear lol even writing this I'm like oh my god having a baby is just sooooo glamorous but its got to be talked about hasn't it! If we want the cute babies you gotta do some things haha. What I would do is put a flannel under some cold water and pretty much wring most of it out and then pop it in the fridge and I did it with a few so I could keep changing them.
In my opinion and I don't know if its just me personally or if other women felt this way after giving birth but I really don't think I was prepared what so ever for the recovery of having a baby and I think I was really uninformed and I do think its a really un talked about thing and my midwife never talked to me about what was going to happen AFTER I gave birth and although a gross uncomfortable time I know I wish I had someone talk to me more about it and there had been more tips and tricks to help relieve pains etc, I might have coped and had a slightly better experience after having Arlo ( if that's possible after pushing a 8lb 8 baby out..)
I'm going to link some really helpful pages with some tips and tricks I wish I had known down below for all the mums to be!
BREASTFEEDING -
Breastfeeding is a huge part of postpartum for many mums, breastfeeding there's no doubt about it, it is not easy, honestly when I think about it I don't really know where it went wrong for me and it wasn't that I wasn't able to breastfeed because I was lucky enough that Arlo took really well but for probably a couple of reasons it didn't work out for me and looking back there quite stupid reasons and I really wish I had pushed myself more but those first couple of weeks you are just in a daze you can spend some days just in and out of sleep so it was and is very easy to give up breastfeeding as formula is easier because your partner can help and it has other benefits to you to. With breastfeeding in my opinion SUPPORT IS CRUTIAL breastfeeding will be a lot more successful with the right support! You can come up against a lot from sore nipples to a low milk supply but there is so much you can do to help and combat these problems. Defiantly try and go to a breastfeeding classes and do some reading and make sure your stocked up on things like nipple cream for when babies born!
All I can really say with breastfeeding because breastfeeding isn't for everyone, breastfeeding doesn't define how you are as a mother and formula feeding mothers are just as amazing but from experience if its something you really really want to do really push yourself try your best because I do really regret not doing more and miss it so much so atleast knowing you did everything you can makes such a difference!
Now for your stomach haha something you actually probably will think about while pregnant! ' will my belly ever be flat again?' 'how long before I can get back into my jeans?' 'what will It look like??!!' Well its STRANGE.. strange is defiantly the perfect word for your belly the first few weeks after giving birth it does look exactly like a deflated balloon lol but it does go down very very quickly compared to how big you are at 40 weeks and it defiantly shocked me that within a couple of days my 'bump' was almost completely gone! The 'empty ballon' your left with will take those extra few weeks to completely go and it does. I have to say it is un realistic to think your body will go completely back to normal and I did come to terms with that. Although all signs of my bump are gone now by 6 months I have been left with a mum tum.. my little pouch at the bottom of my tummy and some days it can get me down but I am still only half way through my first year since having Arlo and honestly in the future I might get rid of it or reduce it by going to the gym and not eating chocolate everyday but right now.. Im just to fucking tired.
Finally PERIODS
Before I fell pregnant with Arlo I was really blessed and I was super regular I had maybe 3-4 day periods they weren't heavy or painful I didn't really get cramps or anything they didn't faze me at all. Well now is a commplleetteyy different story.. its crazy, I didn't have a period until 3 or so months after having Arlo and I did worry abit because it was a little while before they came back and I only breastfed for such a short amount of time but everyone's bodies are different and its safe to say when that first one came I regretted wishing it to come that's for sure..ahhhhh, I've now had 3 since Arlo and my periods are completely different now the pain is horrendous to the point I don't want to go out because walking around is a no I just want to double over and sit down and well,.. ive gone from a regular tampon to a super.. sooooo yeah... pray for me
This post has been really difficult to write because I knew it would be quite long and I know I do have a lot of pregnant mums that read my blog and I didn't want to scare people! But I do really hope that some of things Ive talked about give a little help and if you have had your babies and children already I hope I didn't bring back to many horrible memories haha
If there's anything that'll make you feel like your really a mum and can relate you to other mums/bits weeing in the bath!! hahaha
Even after this frankly negative post its all so so worth it for your little treasure
Thank you so much for reading
Love Hazel and Arlo xxx
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